Many couples are thrilled to find out that they will soon be expecting a baby. Hours are spent picking out the perfect name, perfect paint color for the nursery, and perfect crib or bassinet. And then a reality suddenly dawns on them… how will being pregnant affect their sex life? Will they even have a sex life […]
Many couples are thrilled to find out that they will soon be expecting a baby. Hours are spent picking out the perfect name, perfect paint color for the nursery, and perfect crib or bassinet.
And then a reality suddenly dawns on them… how will being pregnant affect their sex life? Will they even have a sex life anymore? While there are no medical reasons that couples can’t have sex during a normal and healthy pregnancy, they may find their desire for sex waxes and wanes. This is perfectly normal.
What to Expect (in the bedroom) When Expecting
During the first trimester, most women feel exhausted and, well, nauseous. Her breasts may have also become extremely tender. It goes without saying that things in the bedroom might cool off a bit in these first few months.
But not to worry, many women report that their libido gets a second wind during the second trimester. It is during these three months that women are the most physically comfortable. However, it is also during this time that women really begin to show. These physical changes may throw men a little. They may start to worry that they will hurt the baby, and some may simply not feel as attracted as they once did.
The last trimester can be challenging for couples simply because the baby has gotten so big, and finding positions that are comfortable for everyone can be… a bit difficult. It is during this time that women can feel extremely uncomfortable and unattractive, and yes, okay, maybe even a wee bit cranky. During this time, it’s a good idea for couples to find a way to connect without sex.
Sex After Delivery
It’s common for couples to reassure each other that once the baby is born, their sex life will go right back to what it was before they got pregnant. This generally isn’t the case. For starters, healthcare professionals suggest women wait around 6 weeks after giving birth to resume having vaginal sex, even if the baby was born via C-section, as the body needs time to heal. Oral sex, however, is fine.
Once it is safe to begin having sex again, and once the woman feels up to it, most couples find they are simply too tired to have it! Some women may find their minds and hearts to be in the mood, but their body does not cooperate. Numerous hormonal changes can leave the vagina feeling dry and tender. That’s why it is important to listen to your body and take things slow.
The most important thing couples can do, as they wait for things to return to normal (spoiler alert: once you have a child, nothing will ever be normal again, and that’s a wonderful thing!) is to communicate truthfully and honestly with one another.
If communication is strained, or if you think the new mother might be suffering from post-partum depression, it’s important to seek help from a professional therapist. He or she will help you navigate the tumultuous emotions that come along with birth and parenthood.
If you or a loved one would like to explore treatment options, please get in touch with me. I would be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.
Every person has essential human needs. When we don’t get those needs met, our mental and sometimes physical health can suffer as a result. When we think of fundamental human needs, food, shelter, and water come to mind. However, a healthy sex life is also an important component to create a full and happy life […]
Every person has essential human needs. When we don’t get those needs met, our mental and sometimes physical health can suffer as a result. When we think of fundamental human needs, food, shelter, and water come to mind. However, a healthy sex life is also an important component to create a full and happy life for many people.
While it’s not physically or psychologically unhealthy for someone to live an asexual or celibate life, for people that crave the intimacy of a sexual relationship, a healthy sex life is a vital part of a full and happy life. Sex is not only part of a fulfilling life for many people, it also supports good mental health in many ways.
Boosts Serotonin
Low serotonin can cause you to be unable to create or act on plans and strategies. If you have low serotonin, you might have difficulty finishing tasks. You might also become easily agitated, feel a bit down in the dumps, or be unable to control your impulses.
Sex boosts serotonin, which helps improve your mood and fight off depression. Additionally, one of the hormones released during orgasm is serotonin, leaving you feeling soothed from stress and anxiety.
Boosts Self Esteem
A lack of sex can be harmful, causing your self-worth and confidence to plummet. When you have sex, the feelings of intimacy with your partner, as well as feeling nurtured and desired boosts your self-confidence and overall well-being.
Leads to Better Sleep
Sex also improves how you sleep. It’s very common to fall asleep after sex because your body releases prolactin, a hormone that helps you feel rested and relaxed. The orgasm also releases oxytocin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Since a lack of sleep can worsen a mental health disorder, or increase your risk for developing one, better sleep promotes a healthier, more refreshed you.
Makes you happy
The cuddling and physical intimacy of sex also gives a boost to your happiness. Endorphins are one of the many chemicals released in the brain during sex. Endorphins are the neurotransmitters associated with the feeling of happiness, causing your mood to brighten overall as it helps lift depression.
Are you struggling with depression or anxiety and looking for guidance and support? A licensed therapist can help you find ways to boost your mood, and work with you to develop a plan to improve your quality of life. Call my office today, and let’s set up a time to talk.
It’s the natural course of things in any romantic relationship: as time passes, the “newness” and “butterflies” gives way to routine. You always know what to expect from your partner, and you’ve heard all their stories. While your love for your partner has grown and matured along with you and your relationship, it’s not uncommon […]
It’s the natural course of things in any romantic relationship: as time passes, the “newness” and “butterflies” gives way to routine. You always know what to expect from your partner, and you’ve heard all their stories. While your love for your partner has grown and matured along with you and your relationship, it’s not uncommon for what was once a fiery passion to have fizzled out over the years.
All areas of a relationship takes work, and romance in your relationship is no exception. If you’re looking for ways to stoke the fire of romance with your spouse or significant other, below are some tips that can help.
Listen More
It’s always more difficult to hear than to be heard. You might feel like you know everything there is to know about your partner, but people change. Make an effort to ask more questions, and really listen to your partner’s responses with interest. Ask them how their day was, probe them about their interests, and talk to them as you would if you were getting to know a new friend.
Touch Often
Research has shown that physical touch is a form of non-verbal communication that satisfies the desire for a physical connection. A lack of physical touch is often construed as a lack of physical affection, which can greatly decrease relationship satisfaction. Show your partner affection by making an effort to touch your partner’s skin through a hug, a touch of their arm, hand or back. Hold hands and kiss more often.
Try New Activities Together
No matter how long you’ve been with your partner, there are bound to be things you’ve wanted to do together that you haven’t gotten around to. Or perhaps there are things you’d love to try that you never thought of before, if only you could discover them. Whether it’s joining a hiking group, trying a new wine bar, or exploring your sexual fantasies, enjoying new and different activities together is sure to help bring back the spark that may be missing from your relationship.
Revisit the Past
Take a weekend trip to your honeymoon spot, revisit the place where you had your first date, where you got engaged or your old stomping grounds. Revisiting familiar places when you were just getting to know each other will help remind you both of the how’s and why’s of your love story.
Keep in mind that relationships are never perfect, and that it’s natural to have ups and downs with your partner. If you’re going through a difficult time, know that things can improve. With love, trust, and hard work, you can get your relationship with your partner back on the upswing.
Are you and your partner struggling in your relationship? A licensed therapist specializing in marital and couple’s counseling can help you both work on improving your relationship. Call my office today so we can schedule a time to talk.
